Author: Akiko

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I stood up, kissed her, long and slow, with my hand on the back of her neck. “Have fun,” I whispered. “Tell me everything.”

“Cal…”

“I mean it.”

I nodded at Ross, who looked like a man who’d been handed a winning lottery ticket and a live grenade at the same time, and I went upstairs.

I sat on the edge of our bed in the dark.

For the first five minutes I heard nothing but the music, low through the floor. Then laughter. Hers, then his. Then a long silence.

Silence is worse than noise. I discovered that very quickly. In silence your brain fills in everything. Her mouth on his. His hands untying that dress. My best friend’s fingers on the skin I’ve been touching for nine years.

My heart was pounding. My cock was rock hard and I hadn’t even touched it.

Then I heard her moan. Soft, muffled, but definitely her. I know that sound. I’ve been making her make that sound for nine years.

I stood up. I sat back down. I stood up again.

The stairs are right outside our bedroom door. Twelve steps down, and the living room door has a glass panel in it. I could see everything from the bottom step without them knowing.

Or I could stay put. Respect the deal. Let her have this one, the way I’d promised, and wait for her to come up and tell me.

Another moan. Louder this time.

→ I creep back downstairs to see

→ I stay upstairs and wait for her

← Back

I sat down in the armchair across from the sofa. “I’m staying.”

Something passed across Fiona’s face. Relief, maybe. Excitement, definitely. Ross looked like he wanted the sofa to swallow him whole.

“Right,” Ross said. “Right. Good. Cool.”

“Relax, Ross,” Fiona said. “You look like you’re at the dentist.”

“I feel like I’m at the dentist.”

She laughed, and that broke something. She put some music on, low, and poured herself a glass of wine, and stood in the middle of our living room between the two of us, swaying slightly, taking her time.

I’d seen her in that dress for about four minutes and I already loved it. It tied at the hip. One pull and it would fall open.

“So,” she said, looking between us. “I’ve thought about this a lot.”

“We know,” Ross and I said at the same time, and all three of us laughed.

“I thought,” she went on, her cheeks pink, “maybe I’d start with my husband. Warm up. Make sure he’s really okay. Before I go anywhere near his best friend.” She took a sip of wine. “Or I just go straight over there and stop torturing the poor man.”

Ross shifted on the sofa. I could see the outline of his cock in his jeans already. So could Fiona. She looked at it, then at me, and bit her lip.

“Your call, Cal,” she said. “That’s the rule.”

→ I tell her to come and tease me first

→ I tell her to go straight to Ross

← Back

I stayed upstairs. I’d promised her. I’d promised myself.

It was the longest hour of my life.

I lay on the bed in the dark and listened. The music downstairs stopped at some point, and that made it worse, because then there was nothing to hide the sounds. Laughter. Murmuring. A thump, like something knocked off the coffee table. And then her.

I know every noise Fiona makes. The little sigh when I kiss her neck. The sharp gasp when I find her clit. The long low moan that means she’s getting close. I heard every single one of them through the floor, one after the other, and none of them were for me.

My cock was so hard it hurt. I didn’t touch it. I don’t know why. Some idea that I should wait for her.

Then the moaning stopped. Silence. Then quiet voices. Then, after a while, the sound of the front door opening and closing. A car starting in the street.

Ross was gone.

I heard her climb the stairs slowly. The bedroom door creaked. She stood in the doorway, silhouetted by the landing light, her dress hanging open, hair wild, holding her knickers in one hand.

“You’re awake,” she said.

“Obviously I’m awake.”

She came and sat on the edge of the bed. She smelled of sex and of Ross’s aftershave, and I’d never wanted her more.

“Do you want to know?” she asked quietly.

→ I tell her yes, I want to hear everything

→ I tell her not tonight and roll over

← Back

I crept down the stairs in my socks, every step a betrayal of the deal and I didn’t care.

From the bottom step, through the glass panel in the living room door, I could see the sofa.

Fiona was lying back on it, her dress open, her bra pushed down under her tits. Ross was kneeling on the floor between her legs, his face buried in her neck, one big hand squeezing her breast, the other sliding slowly up the inside of her thigh.

She had her eyes closed and her mouth open. Her hips were lifting off the cushions to meet his hand.

I’d thought I would feel jealous. I did, for about a second, a hot hard punch under my ribs. Then the jealousy turned into something else entirely, something that made my cock throb so hard I had to lean on the banister.

His fingers reached the lace of her knickers. She gasped. “Ross.”

“Okay?”

“God, yes.”

He slid his hand inside her knickers and she arched off the sofa with a moan I felt in my teeth.

Then her eyes opened. And she looked straight past his shoulder at the glass panel. Straight at me.

She didn’t stop him. She didn’t say anything. She just held my gaze while his fingers moved inside her, and slowly, deliberately, she licked her lips.

My hand was on the door handle. I could walk in. Or I could stay right where I was, on the other side of the glass, and watch.

→ I open the door and go in to join them

→ I stay behind the glass and keep watching

← Back

“Don’t make him wait,” I said. “Go on.”

Fiona hesitated for a heartbeat. Then she crossed the room and sat down on the sofa next to Ross, close, her bare knee against his jeans.

Ross went rigid. Not the good kind. The panicking kind.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hi,” he said. Then, to me, “Cal, mate, are you absolutely…”

“I’m sure.”

Fiona took the wine glass out of his hand and put it on the coffee table. She touched his face. He was trembling. I’d known him nineteen years and I’d never seen Ross tremble, not at his wedding, not at his divorce, not when he broke his collarbone in a scrum.

She kissed him. Gently.

He didn’t kiss back at first. Then he did, all at once, his big hand sliding into her hair, and she made a small hungry sound that went straight to my cock.

They kissed for a long time. His hand moved to her waist, then hovered over the tie of her dress, and stopped there.

He broke the kiss and looked at me. His face was red, his breathing ragged. “I can’t…” he said. “It’s weird with you sitting there. I’m sorry. I want to, God, I want to, but I keep thinking you’re going to deck me.”

Fiona looked at me too. Flushed, lips swollen, a little helpless.

The whole evening was balanced on whatever I said next.

→ I tell Ross it’s fine and give him permission out loud

→ I stay quiet and let them work it out

← Back

“Come here,” I said. “Me first.”

Her smile could have lit the street. She put the wine down, walked over and climbed into my lap in the armchair, knees either side of my hips, her dress riding up her thighs.

“Hello, husband,” she whispered.

She kissed me. Deep and hungry, more than she’d kissed me in months. Her hips started rolling, slow, grinding down onto my cock through my jeans. I groaned into her mouth.

“He’s watching,” she breathed against my lips. “Ross is watching us. Can you feel how wet that makes me?”

I could. Even through her knickers and my jeans, I could feel the heat of her.

She reached down and pulled the tie on her dress. It fell open. Underneath was a black lace bra and knickers I’d definitely never seen, sheer enough to show her dark nipples. She shrugged the dress off her shoulders and let it drop to the floor.

Ross made a sound behind her like he’d been punched.

Fiona kept her eyes on mine. She ground on me harder, took my hands and put them on her tits, squeezing them through the lace with her own fingers over mine.

“I love you,” she said. “Tell me you’re okay.”

“I’m more than okay.”

“Tell me to go to him.”

My heart thudded. Over her shoulder, Ross was sitting forward on the sofa, jaw slack, palming himself through his jeans.

“How far, Cal?” she whispered. “Tell me how far.”

→ I tell her to go to him and let it go as far as she wants

→ I tell her to go to him, but only a kiss for now

← Back

“Not tonight,” I said.

She went still. Then she nodded slowly. “Okay.”

I rolled over to face the wall. I don’t know why. I’d wanted this. I’d said yes to this. For three weeks I’d been hard every night thinking about it. And now she was sitting on the edge of our bed smelling of my best friend, and something in me had locked shut.

I felt her lie down behind me, not touching.

“Cal,” she said quietly. “Did I do something wrong?”

“No.”

“Then talk to me.”

“I’m tired, Fi.”

“You’re not tired. I can hear you not being tired.”

She was right. I lay there wide awake, my heart going, my cock still half hard, my head full of the noises I’d heard through the floor. The jealousy and the arousal were so tangled up together that I couldn’t find where one stopped and the other started.

She waited. A long time.

Then I felt her hand on my back. Just resting between my shoulder blades. Warm.

“I love you,” she said. “Nothing that happened down there changes that. Nothing could.”

I didn’t move. Part of me wanted to turn over, pull her into me and ask her for every filthy detail. Part of me wanted to pretend the whole night had never happened.

Her hand stayed where it was, patient, waiting to see which part of me would win.

→ I turn over and ask her to tell me after all

→ I stay facing the wall and pretend to sleep

← Back

“Everything,” I said. “Tell me everything.”

She lay down next to me, propped on one elbow, and started talking.

How he’d been so nervous he’d knocked his wine over. How she’d climbed onto his lap to calm him down and felt him get hard under her in about two seconds. How he’d kissed her like he’d been waiting nineteen years to do it.

While she talked, her hand slid down my stomach and wrapped round my cock.

“Then he took my dress off,” she said, stroking me slowly. “And he just stared. He said, ‘Fuck, Fi.’ Just that. And then he put his mouth on me.”

“Where?”

“Everywhere.” Her hand tightened. “My tits. My stomach. Then he went down on me on our sofa, Cal. On the sofa we bought from John Lewis.”

I groaned. She laughed softly and kept stroking.

“I came on his tongue,” she whispered. “Twice. And then I made him stop.”

“Stop?”

“I wanted you to see the rest.” She stopped stroking, holding my cock still in her fist. “He’s still awake. He texted. He’s sitting in his car at the end of the road. He says he can come back if you want to watch.”

My heart slammed.

“Or,” she said, kissing my shoulder, “we just keep this for ourselves. Tonight was enough. And we decide about next time later.”

→ I tell her to text him to come back

→ I tell her tonight was enough

← Back

I took my hand off the handle. I stayed exactly where I was.

Fiona saw me decide. Her eyes widened, then went dark and heavy. She reached up, pulled Ross’s head down and kissed him, keeping one eye open on the glass.

He worked her with his fingers until she came. I watched it happen. Her thighs clamped round his wrist, her back arched, and her mouth opened in a silent cry. Her eyes never left mine.

Then she pushed Ross back onto the sofa and climbed on top of him.

She unbuckled him, pulled him out and stroked him. Ross was thick and flushed and groaning. She grabbed a condom from the coffee table, where we’d left a bowl of them like party snacks, tore it open with her teeth and rolled it down his cock.

Then she sank down on him. Slowly. Facing the door. Facing me.

I watched my wife’s face as my best friend’s cock filled her. I watched her lips part and her eyelids flutter. She put her hands on her own tits and squeezed, and started to ride.

My jeans were open. My cock was in my fist. I was standing in my own hallway in my socks, wanking through a glass panel like a teenager, and it was the hottest thing I’d ever seen in my life.

She rode him faster, staring at me, and mouthed two words.

Come in.

Or I could stay hidden and finish here.

→ I stay hidden and watch until the end

→ I turn around and go back upstairs